Why You’re Still not Changing and 5 Tips to Fix it!
Have you ever found yourself wanting to make a change in your life, but somehow you just can't seem to make it stick? Perhaps you've tried to quit smoking, stop dating losers, lose weight, or even just start a new hobby, and you make a start, all fired up and ready, but no matter how hard you try, you just can't seem to make it happen, and you find yourself giving up? If so, you're not alone…
The culprit behind this frustration is your subconscious mind, which is 30 times more powerful at automating your behaviour.
The subconscious mind can be a powerful force preventing people from making beneficial change, and it can feel hopeless or frustrating! But, don't despair - In this blog post, we'll explore how the subconscious mind can hold us back, and how you can finally break through those barriers.
What is the Subconscious? The subconscious mind is the part of our mind that operates below our conscious awareness. It is responsible for many of our automatic behaviours, such as breathing and digesting food, as well as our habitual emotional responses to certain situations. It is also the part of our mind that holds onto our beliefs, habits, and fears. These beliefs and habits can be deeply ingrained and can prevent us from making beneficial changes in our lives.
Things generally go awry for people because we have negative expectations about the world or ourselves, this is because:
A. We have a belief that we're not good enough or capable enough to achieve or receive the desired outcome.
We develop a negative self concept from infancy when we are at our most vulnerable in an attempt to survive by being aware of and compensating for our failings. Whether conscious or not, our self doubts mean our mind will sabotage our efforts to make positive changes. We will most likely find ourselves, deferring action, procrastinating, self-sabotaging, or giving up altogether. This is because our subconscious mind wants to keep us safe and comfortable, and it doesn’t believe in us, or want us to feel the pain of trying and having our failings exposed. So we sabotage to feel safe, even if that means staying stuck in unhappy, negative patterns.
B. Humans have a fear of the unknown
Conscious or not, we are terrified of the unknown. The body is expertly conditioned to maintain homeostasis. New is always perceived as danger until proven otherwise, and the subconscious exerts it's ample influence on our behaviour to maintain the status quo.
C. We are bombarded with hypnotic or repetitive negative messages.
Advertising, social media and their algorithms, even attitudes held in groups or human society as a whole are constantly spruiking negative realities. As these things get repeated often and long term they lodge and persist in our model of the world.
So, how can we fix this? Here are a few strategies to consider:
Reprogram your subconscious mind to support the desired change.
When we try to make a change that goes against our subconscious programming, our subconscious mind can kick into overdrive, sending us messages that undermine our efforts.
For example, let's say you want to quit smoking. Your conscious mind knows that smoking is bad for your health and wants to quit, but your subconscious mind is still programmed to associate smoking with pleasure, relaxation, or stress relief. This can lead to cravings and anxiety, on top of potential physical symptoms when you try to quit.
Try this process:
Identify your limiting beliefs. Get out a pen and paper and write all the garbage messages and fears you‘ve consumed or concluded related to the area you want to change, like "drinking is fun," or "there are no decent men left," etc.
Challenge your limiting beliefs: Once you have identified your limiting beliefs, question them.
Ask yourself, are they really true? Is there any evidence to support them? Often, our limiting beliefs are based on fear, not reality. For example, if you believe you're not good enough to succeed.
ask yourself why you think that? Did your mum tell you, did you fail in the past?
Dispel the reason you thought that for yourself by adopting a new, positive truth.
Eg. If you believed the negative belief because your mum told you, your new truth might be: “My Mum is not some infallible oracle and her belief biases attract negative outcomes, too. Other positive possibilities could be true.”
Replace your limiting beliefs with positive ones: Once you have challenged your limiting beliefs, replace them with positive ones. Some people have success with affirmations. Affirmations are a powerful tool for reprogramming your subconscious mind. For example, if you previously believed "I'm not good enough", replace it with "I am capable and worthy of success." Repeat this affirmation daily to reinforce the new belief.
Replace the belief with something believable, So, for me, affirmations don’t work super quickly or effectively. My protective mind rejects the new statement if it is too fluffy, maybe try this instead. Ask: What is something which challenges this unhappy version of reality that is still believable?
For example: If you think “I’m too fat & I’ll be rejected” and saying “I am thin” is too much for you to get on board with. Something that might feel more believable is: “ I am still more than attractive enough, lovable, charming and worthy of love, acceptance and admiration.” Repeat this statement more than you think you need to.
2.Take action: Overcoming limiting beliefs requires action! Unfortunately getting out of your comfort zone is required. Take small steps towards your goals, even if they feel uncomfortable or scary. Just tiny steps is ok if that is all you can muster at first. Remind yourself amid the discomfort that your mind is just trying to get back to homeostasis and this feeling is not an actual portent to doom! Celebrate your successes, no matter how small they may seem. This will help build confidence and reinforce positive beliefs.
3. Seek the correct support: Overcoming limiting beliefs can be challenging, so seek support from friends, family, a Kinesiologist or professional. Surround yourself with positive, supportive people who believe in you and your abilities, and consider keeping your ambitions from cynical people until realised, it’s ok if not everyone can yet support you in that way; they're just responding to their limitations, not yours. Go fishing for support in the right places.
3. Visualise success: Visualisation is a powerful tool for reprogramming the subconscious mind. By visualising yourself successfully making the desired change, you can begin to create new neural pathways in your brain that support that behaviour. For example, if you want to quit drinking, you might visualise yourself enjoying a healthy, sexy, fun, alcohol-free life, feeling amazing, preferring being clear, feeling more creative, witty and charming, enjoying socialising and waking up motivated, actually loving and preferring it.
4. See a Kinesiologist
Kinesiology is a holistic therapy that can help us access the wisdom of our subconscious mind and make positive changes in our lives. It uses muscle testing to communicate with the body's innate intelligence and identify areas of stress or imbalance. By identifying the root causes of our negative patterns and beliefs, we can begin to shift them and create new, more beneficial ones, very quickly and effectively.
Kinesiology quickly identifies energetic blockages that are holding us back. These blockages can be caused by past traumas, limiting beliefs, or negative emotions that are stored in the body. By releasing these blockages, we can free up the energy to make positive changes in our lives. Once these beliefs are identified, we can use various techniques, such as NLP Hypnotherapy, Tapping, Acupressure, Aromatherapy affirmations, visualisation and more to clear stress and reprogram the subconscious mind and create new, positive beliefs that support our goals .By releasing these blockages, we free up the energy to make positive changes in our lives!
5. Repetition, repetition, repetition!!
Unfortunately though we need to repeat things a lot sometimes before it clicks. Remember, you have been bombarded with negative messages, or neutral information that you assigned a negative message about who you are based on survival programs your ENTIRE life! Humans benefit most from ongoing support. The negative belief has been reinforced through decades of experience, therefore It is vital that once a person has started a program to attend all their follow up appointments for lasting efficacy. We need repetition for long term change. Repetition of the adopted new beliefs, taking action and following up is important, and your new life is worth it!
Overall, the subconscious mind can be a powerful force that prevents us from making beneficial changes in our lives. However, with the help of these tips, dedication and kinesiology, we can access the wisdom of our subconscious mind and create new, positive patterns and beliefs that support our goals. If you're feeling stuck in negative patterns, book a session to help you break through those barriers and create the life you truly desire.
Psst... Did you do the journalling process outlined in step 1? If not, here's a little bit of insight into your blockages: You're still auditting without actioning! All the best information in the world wont translate into results unless you suspend your judgement, cast aside your discomfort and do some work today. Just take a small step. You've got this!
All the best of health and happiness!
Erin Ricketts xx
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